Reasons I Don’t Like Being an INTJ
There are many reasons why I am quite fond of being an INTJ however, it is not entirely rainbows. With great power comes great weakness, and there are several things I don’t particularly enjoy about being an INTJ. It is not to say that I would trade it, as I can only assume that there are challenges among all of the personality types.
Being Social Doesn’t Come Easy
In fact, it is really hard work. Being social comes fairly easily when there is a purpose behind it, such as in the workplace. Being social, simply for the sake of being social is quite challenging. I particularly enjoy watching social integration, so I can mentally pick apart everything someone is saying and build a complete mental schematic of every aspect of their lives, but participating? Shoot me. Engaging in social activity without a defined purpose takes a bit of force, planning and convincing myself that there simply doesn’t have to be a point. There are times where I wish this came a little more naturally.
We Only Want To Share Our Triumphs
We tend to not share our journeys, whether it is an education, a project or a path to self-improvement. We will share it when it is done, when it is complete or when we have, beyond any reasonable doubt, reached our goal. We don’t want to be perceived as failures and we certainly don’t want to be perceived as weak. This is one of the many reasons we are generally viewed as a bit narcissistic.
But we do have weaknesses and failures, all of which are valuable and can be educational to those who may be on the same path. In my life, sharing these journeys has been on a strict “need to know” basis and kept well-hidden from the general public. The irony of this, is that we generally don’t care what others think of us; What we care about, is how we view ourselves. At times, I wish I could care just a bit less.
The Worthlessness With Wasting Time
There are many times that I wish I could blow off time without feeling absolutely worthless. I feel like there has to be a purpose for every movement, every activity and every moment. If I am not consistently working towards some sort of goal, I feel that the time is completely wasted. Sure, there are times that I like to blow off a day playing games, watching movies or otherwise, which may feel great at the time. Days later, however, when I feel as if I have fallen behind, I look back and lay blame on the time I wasted prior.
The Inability to Fake Anything
This is one of the great strengths of the INTJ, at least for those that are one. For those that are not, there is resentment and disdain for this inability. Even for those times where we feel the need to give off the illusion that we are friendly, bubbly, sympathetic and a plethora of other things that we are not, it feels forced and awkward. We don’t want to feel this way, so we will avoid it. There are a million and one instances throughout my life where a natural ability for this would have come in handy, saved me time, heartache, embarrassment and not having my absolute favorite question thrown at me; “Can’t you at least fake it?”. No, I really can’t.
The Reluctance To Take Direction
I don’t consider myself “anti-authority” or as one who has a problem following rules and instruction, but quite the opposite. I enjoy following clear instructions and enjoy authority with a particular style of leadership. What I don’t like is being told to do anything. Anything I am required to do has to be my choice. I can be asked to do things, encouraged to do things and disappointment can even be displayed in my lack of doing things, but telling me to do things? Please. This is one aspect of being an INTJ that I am not fond or proud of. Even if I have already made the choice to complete a task, if someone comes around and tells me to do the task I have already decided to do, I will immediately be reluctant to complete it, regardless of its importance.
The Lack of Interest In “Mundane” Subject Matter
I lack the ability to make conversation with most people mainly due to my lack of interest in, what I call “mundane” subject matter. Conversations relating to things that are obvious, conversations relating to celebrity lives, sports and other subjects almost everyone seems to have some interest in. It would be nice, on occasion, to have the ability to converse with others on such matters, but what it comes down to, is that knowledge of these matters make no improvement or enhancement to my life. It would make the ability to socialize a little easier if I could somehow muster up the interest, but that is unfortunately not possible.
The Draining Effect of Crowds
I would really like the super power of being in a crowd and not having the energy being siphoned from my being. The energy meter rolls down at a rapid pace when the number of human auras that invade mine increase, and it creates an indescribable exhaustion which can only be remedied with a certain amount of energy refill time, be it sleep or a significant amount of isolation. Energy is a rare and valuable resource, and I really like to hang on to as much of it as I can and for as long as possible. I would really enjoy feeling this elusive energy gain that ‘Es’ experience when surrounded by a herd of human souls. I bet it is glorious.
Taming The ‘J’
INTJs are so damned hard on ourselves. We demand perfection and will accept nothing less. Although this can be viewed equally as a positive, it can get in the way of progress and the ‘J’ is what I blame for nearly everything on this list. Why do we struggle with social interaction? Simply because we are J-fearing folk who refuse to look a fool in any circumstance. Why do we have difficulty expressing our struggles and weaknesses on our life journeys? Same reason. The worthless feeling from spending a bit of time doing something completely unproductive? I blame the J. If I could just figure out how to take it down a notch, I am sure my life would be a bit easier, although then I would not be me, which is a price I am unwilling to pay.
This post is from an archive of the Intjness blog I authored between 2016-2018.